I’m sure you have several acquaintances that have had a long term relationship come to an end, and very soon after, started seeing someone else that is totally wrong for them. Well this is a pretty typical result of the end of relationships
It has become a normal way of thinking about relationships, that it pretty much seems healthy to look for a rebound after your breakup. The clichéd “get back on the horse” mentality can have its advantages, but choosing a new partner when your judgement is clouded by the breakup, is more likely to do more harm than good. There are significantly better methods to get over your ex. If you truly want a new relationship, rebound the smart way
The Rebound Mindset
If you want to steer clear of making a huge mistake after a breakup, you first have to take an honest look at exactly how you are feeling, and understand how those feelings may lead you to actions that are going to be damaging. Most likely, you do not start a new relationship because you want to be with that person. It is generally because you miss the feeling of companionship and would prefer to be with someone than be alone. This is more a cover up from what you are really feeling after the breakup, than a real relationship. Instead, try to surround yourself with mates in social situations instead of looking for romance.
Keep Your Standards
Right after a breakup, you have a tendency to let your standards slide as you look to find somebody to fill the void your ex has left behind. Actually you should go the exact opposite way and elevate your standards a little bit, just to give yourself a little safety. If the person you end up attracted to in a post breakup situation has less going for them than you would normally go for, you should stay away. They won’t make for a good relationship, rebound or not.
Don’t Just Go For Someone Convenient
We generally want someone quite fast when we are searching for a rebound. We generally do not have time to waste getting to know someone and making sure there is a connection, so we tend to look to get with someone we already know and already have some kind of a relationship with. This could be a co-worker, friend or just someone you frequently talk to. If you feel yourself attracted to someone you already know, but never had any feelings for previously, you really should take a step back and ask yourself what is really going on.
Make Time For Yourself
Do not try to fill all your time with dates that will not go anywhere. Take time to enjoy yourself and make new friends (no lovers). Do anything that you have always wanted to do but never had the time for. Don’t stay around your house on your own, crying “I want ex back“, or buying every self help book under the sun.
Don’t Be Too Harsh On Yourself
You maybe aren’t showing it, but the end of a relationship will leave you feeling low and a little bummed out. Admit to this and try not to start anything too big for a few weeks. Instead treat yourself, and do something you get pleasure from. Give yourself a break.
Not every rebound is a disaster, and sometimes, you will have a bit of fun that will allow you to move on. But you must make sure that you aren’t lowering your standards and just getting into a new relationship because you want to be with someone, anyone.
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