Dating relationship help can be minefield of challenges for both the person requesting it, and the friend who’s been asked to supply it. Let’s explore this further.
Dating relationship advice is sometimes a lot like carrying a bad message. The well known saying about killing the messenger is applicable all too often when it comes to handing out advice to a friend about his or her current situation. Giving too much advice can make a person seem jaded and anti relationship whereas not giving enough and a body seems vague and unconnected.
People seek guidance at different times in their lives. They want outside perspective on a problem. When a marriage falls into crisis the husband and wife will often turn to a marriage counselor for help. If a dating relationship is in doubt most people turn to their friends. But dangers await there.
Friends want to be honest with each other. They really do want to be able to confide and in turn receive advice, but what does someone do when a friend is asking for relationship advice and the advice would be anything but pleasant? Is this a time for honesty or is it one where it might be better off to be tactful and evasive?
Therapists and relationship experts generally agree that a mixture of the three is the best solution. A direct question from the confused friend shouldn’t be greeted with evasion. He or she will immediately begin to worry and the problem can grow exponentially. If the particular question is an uncomfortable one, then turn it around on the friend. Ask him or her if what they “feel” is right and tell them that they might need to think on it for a while.
Another thoughtful tactic for handling a friend in romantic crisis is to explain carefully that because they are not going through that particular situation and would not have the same perspective on the situation.. For as open and honest as two friends can be, there are still things left out when one of them is in a relationship.
When all else fails and the friend presses for a definitive answer to a problem they are having, tell them the truth. Chances are they will still want the advice anyway, even after the warning, but at least the opportunity for protest was given. Be careful on how the advice is worded. Make it very clear that the advice is really opinion only and that all of the facts are not available.
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