The Web has become the hot new place for intelligent, eligible people to find romance, or even to have an affair, and those searching for love are swarming into cyberspace. Because of this, relationships are started with people who are virtual strangers.
With so many people communicating via the Net and deciding to date virtual strangers or figuring out how to have an affair, it is critical to be safe and be smart. Trust your instincts and use your common sense. Follow these rules and you are off to a good start:
If it looks like it’s too good to be true, then it is!.
Begin by first communicating solely by electronic mail or online chat. Be on your guard in noticing odd behavior or inconsistencies. If you detect evasive signs, your radar should flag it. Although online, try to ‘listen’ to his or her words. Always keep in mind that the other party might not be what they say they are. Trust your gut feel. If it does not feel right at the beginning, walk away.
Get as much intel as you can.
Be as inquisitive as you can. Find out where he grew up, where she works, and how he is connected to his community. You will be like Columbo trying to find out a person’s profile. If you detect hesitancy in giving personal info, then that is a red flag. Probe any discrepancies in their stories. If your correspondent is unwilling to answer your questions, this is another red flag. Continue with a great deal of caution.
It is best to be honest from the get go.
Represent yourself accurately. Exaggerating or misleading is easy on the web. Areas to be particularly careful about are marital status and physical appearance. Begin with a request for a picture and send them a recent one of you. If the other side does not want to send a picture, it’s not a red flag but a warning sign. If he or she continuously comes up with an excuse, it is because that person has something to hide. In today’s digital age, coming up with a photo is a no brainer. After you have exchanged photos, continue to fill in the gaps, so that the other person does not create you in their image. Keep it honest.
Talk on the phone and continue to learn more about your date.
A phone call can reveal a lot about a person’s communication and social skills. It’s worth it to call since you can continue to get a more complete profile. Try to be stingy on giving out your phone to anyone you are not comfortable with. Trust takes time to develop. Only when you feel completely comfortable should you furnish your phone number.
Take your time, take your time.
Meeting someone online and then arranging a date in a relatively short time can be dangerous. Take time to find out who this person really is. If someone is pressuring you to get together before you are ready, this is another warning sign. Remember that if your gut instinct is not right, do not hesitate to walk away and move on to the next candidate.
If you decide to meet for a date, proceed with caution and arrange the meeting on your terms. The following is a guide to ensure that you have a safe encounter:
1. Make sure a friend or anyone close to you knows where you are going and when you will be back from this first date. Leave your date’s full name and telephone numbers with that person and write it down. There are also websites these days, like smartdatedotcom, where you can register dating information such as these, for a small fee. If your first date wants to keep things confidential, then, big red flag! Time to walk away. Your safety above all else!
2. Always meet in a public place that you are familiar with on your first date. Stay near other people in a lighted area. Go out for coffee, make it casual, it’s a good and safe way to test the waters.
3. Never allow yourself to be picked up from your house. For obvious reasons, letting a stranger know where you live is not to your best interest. Arrange your own transportation so that you can leave if there is any sign of trouble.
4. Pay attention to everything that this person has told you about him or herself. This is like an audit, it you find he lied online, move on.
5. For the same reason you do not want to be picked up at home on the first date, do not let him drop you off. Remember that you are out with almost a virtual stranger. Let your common sense rule.
Exercise caution. Be in control. Always think ahead before you invest your time and emotion on this exercise. As in both your professional and personal life, information is the key!
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